Still Here

We have had many people ask if we are okay because I have not posted in a long time. We are still out here and we are holding tight as we make our way through this crazy life. I have several post that I really hope to catch up on this week.

This last week was a big week for our family as we celebrated our third gotcha day with our little man. I still wish that this precious day could stand alone and that it would not have to compete with such sad memories. Three years ago today we landed in the US with a brown eyed bundle of energy that would forever change our lives. We entered the airport in Houston and gave a huge sigh of relief because in just a few hours we would be united with our family and friends and we would finally be together as a family. We had waited for this day for 8 years. Our dreams of growing our family were coming true. We would hold our son and hug our daughter at the same time. We would all be together and this crazy roller coaster of a rid was about to let us off. The ecstasy lasted as we walked through the double doors that led us to the waiting area for our next flight. As we took our seats and held our new bundle of joy tightly in our arms we received a phone call that would shatter our excitement. I will never forget that call. It haunts me to this day. I remember James asking the person on the other line if A was okay? At that moment I assumed that they had lost the the new baby. My heart sank. How could this be? She was only three weeks old and it just wasn't fair. James hung up the phone and as he turned to me he spoke the words that I still to this day can not truly believe. "Erik is dead! He was hit form behind and killed." I do not know how long I sat there in disbelief. I remember saying over and over to myself; "not Erik!" I tried to pull myself together for the sake of the new baby that was resting in my arms. I needed him to fell safe and protected but all I could do was hug him tight and sob. How could one family be complete and another family be torn apart. This was not supposed to be happening. Our babies were going to play outside together and we were going to have a big Bar B Que when we returned home. We had just exchanged stories in the front yard the night before we left for Guatemala. I was so excited for him to meet our son. Erik spent hours telling me what to expect on my first flight and how I must live life to the fullest and never be afraid. I was so excited to tell him how brave I was on my first flight and how I had made it 5 days in a foreign country with a new baby and only one carry on. ( I usually pack the kitchen sink where ever I go)

Each year I have high hopes that this will be the year for complete healing. This year we were reminded of the tragedy that took his life. We have been looking for a home in Bentonville. We usually do a drive by before we see it with the Realtor. One of the homes that we went to see was in the subdivision where he was working when his life was tragicly taken. At first we thought that it might not be the same place but as we drove through the entrence it hit us like a ton of bricks. It was in that very place that his life was taken and this was the first time that we had come to that place. Then today we sang the song in church that his wife sang at his funeral. It seems that there are still memories that are filled with pain that remind us of what we have lost. It gets easier but the facts remain the same. We miss him. I wish that he was here living life to the fullest with his two beautiful daughters and their mother. I wish that they were still our neighbors and that our kids were playing in the yard. I wish that he knew Noah in person instead of just pictures. Most of all I wish that we were still surrounded daily by his love for life and people. His energy and his smile was contagious. His passion for family and life made you want to love deeper and live life with more excitement. In the midst of the painful memories there are so many happy memoreis that remind me why it is that we invest in the lives around us. We could have skipped the pain if we had never been neighbors and had never met him and his beautiful family. If we had never taken the time to invest in them or allowed them to invest in us we would not know what it feels like to miss him. I know that I am rambling but my point is this; Sometimes I want to for go any new relationships. Our family has been through many losses in the last several years. Each loss is more and more difficult to get through. I struggle with giving my heart to anyone new for fear that it will break completly if anything else happens. When Danny died I actually sked God to "get it over with, to take everyone he needed to take right then so that I could heal completly and not have to go through this again. I know that sounds aweful. I did not want him to take anyone else but I just did not know how I could bear the pain over and over again. So how does one move forward and how does one learn to invest when you know that it comes with risk? I am still searching for the answer. For now I am trying to remember that each loss was only a loss becasue at some point there was a gain. A gain of love and friend ship, a gain of memories and experiences. For now I am not ready to give up the gains so I am trying to learn how to deal with the losses. Please know that I am not living in a depressed state of mind every day. I am just trying to learn how to let people in again. I am trying to remember how it feels to love deeply with out a daily fear of loss. Please pray for me as I seek God's grace and mercy for complete healing.

Processing a Bad Day

I usually try not to post if I am having a bad attitude because that is not what I want to remember when I look back on our journey. I am going to post anyway because I just need to vent and because I know that one day I will look back and see how God always has his hand on even the smallest things that cause us strife and grief.

I am finally feeling better from the stomach bug. I actually ate my first meal in a week last night that did not result in any type of stomach pain. We are still trying to get things done around the house so that we can put it on the market. We still have a lot to do and all the rain is not helping. We have looked at so many homes and each one is a bust. I did not know that this part would be so difficult. I really thought that it would be fun. We are still trying to decide if we can afford to use a Realtor. With the market being in a slump we have lost thousands of dollars in equity so it is hard to squeeze out the extra to pay a Realtor. On the other hand it is also hard to sale any home right now so we may need the advantage. We have been told by two Realtors that our house will go quickly. It is hard to know which way to go. Our big delima is that if our house sells fast we have not found anything else and we would have no place to live. We have also been so torn on where to look. James needs to be near the by pass because of traffic and his commute to work. We want to stay close to our church even though it is relocating. Finally we needed to be close to the School that we thought Kayla would be attending next year.

Fast forward to Monday. I was having some quiet time and trying to focus on the fact that maybe we are pushing the move and that it is simply not time. We keep hitting a dead end and it is really beginning to take an emotional and physical toll on me. I was trying to reassure myself that we were okay where we are and that it is probably a better idea for us to stay put for now. This location keeps us closer to James work and our church. It also keeps us closer to the School that we want to put Kayla in next year. I had just felt a big burden lifted when I realized that it was May and that we should be hearing about her school anytime. I decided to call and see if they were still working on enrollment or if they had finished. I tried several times to log onto the web site and it kept telling me the system was down. I finally called and was able to talk to someone who informed me that all the positions were filled and that if we had not already received a call then her name had not been drawn. I really tried to keep it together and did till I called James. I refused to tell Kayla because I was so upset and I knew how much she wanted this.

We finished up more school work and during lunch I told Kayla about not getting into the school. She was disappointed but actually took it better than I did. We talked about what this meant for next year and how we needed to proceed. I feel very STRONGLY that I do not want my children in Rogers schools. I know this might offend some but I have my reasons and I stand firm on them. At this point our other options are to home school another year, drive every day and put her in private, or try to relocate to Bentonville and put her in school there. Homeschooling next year is not where our family feels led. Private is expensive and Bentoville puts James further from work. So I am overwhelmed with what to do next.

In the midst of the emotional let down I still needed to pay bills. I had not accessed any of our files since we got our computer back but I have noticed that things are not where they where before. I tried to locate a file that I needed to pay bills and could not find it anywhere. I decided to take a break and pull up some pics of our house so that we could get them ready in case we still decide to list the house. That is when I knew that we had a problem. There was only one picture folder and it was empty. I tried not to panic and kept looking for them in other places. Still no luck. I finally called James (for the second time that day) in a panic. He reassured me that everything was transferred before they wiped the computer clean. After what seemed like an eternity it was obvious that they were not on our computer. James had our backup disk at work and checked to see if they were on the back up disk. Not there! They failed to transfer ANY of our shared documents. That was everything that I needed them to save! All my pictures ( 5 years worth) and all my saved documents. Wiped clean, gone forever, could have and should have been avoided! This is were the breakdown came in. I had already been crying and in a mini panic but now it is full blown. I proceeded to cry for the next four hours. Noah actually kept hugging me asking me to stop crying because it was making him so sad. I just could not stop. I do not have a huge fancy house, we do not own expensive furniture or drive new cars, I wear the same outfits every week. I say all this because we do not invest a lot of our money in fancy things that can perish. We by used when ever we can and we never pay full price for anything. I have always joked that if we have a natural disaster then James is supposed to grab the kids and I will grab the pictures. If you spend anytime in our home or if you know me very well you will see that my passion is my pictures. I value people and my loved ones far above these pictures but I value photos far above any material possession. We have lost too many loved ones to not understand the value of those memories. One day all we will have of our loved ones are the memories. My memories are wrapped up in my pictures. Not that I can not remember them with out the pics but one day Noah will want to see his young life and it is gone. Birthdays, Christmas, Anniversary's, pictures with loved ones that are no longer with us. They are all gone. It felt like some one took the most personal and most meaningful material possession that I had and burnt them right there. There was nothing I could do to stop it or get it back. I think I am going to have to stop writing about this or I am going to loose it again. Please pray that God will give me a peace about this. I am not upset, I am devastated. I know that sounds ridiculous but I am really struggling with this and I am overwhelmed with hurt right now.

To end my day I received a phone call that my nephew is back in the hospital. He has lost feeling in his leg and his speech is getting worse. They are still doing test and he is supposed to be having an EEG done. They are not sure if he had minigitus or not since they can not test for it now. It could be what made him ill in the first place but they do not believe that is what is happening now. The neurologist said that you do not go into the hospital walking and talking and come out not able to walk or talk unless something has happened. They believe that the doctors who did is surgery is covering something up and that he lost enough oxygen during surgery that it left him brain damaged. They have been advised not to talk to any of those doctors and to only talk to their lawyers.

On that note I am only growing more and more angry so I think I am going to end this post. Still trying to process all the frustration and hurt that I am feeling.

Out Of The Mouth Of A Preschooler

Tonight Noah was eating dinner when he said that he needed to go poop. We are really trying to teach him not to blurt that out but we are still working on it; obviously.

Anyway I asked him to finish dinner since he was almost done. Plus he's more likely to finish supper quickly. He finished up and I sent him on his way while I cleaned up his plate. He went to the bath room and then I hear "MOM, I frew up!" I quickly make my way to the bathroom but do not see where he threw up. I asked him "are you sure you threw up?" Noah said "Yes, I frew up with my BUTT! See it in the potty!" I then proceeded to explain the difference between throwing up and diarrhea. It is never a dull moment with Noah.

Difficult Day, Difficult News

I'm not sure where to start and I'm not sure that I have the energy to tell the whole story so I am going to be brief as I can. This story is longer and more complicated than I am about to share.

When we went to my sisters house in December for Christmas we became aware that one of my nephews was ill. He had been sick for some time and the doctors were not able to give them any diagnosis. The doctor actually told the family that they believed that my nephew was faking it and that he was depressed. This did not make sense because he had been running a fervor for an extended period of time. He had many other symptoms and all were too real to be considered fake. While we were in LA for Christmas they almost put my nephew in the hospital. Instead they sent him home and said he should see his regular doctor at home. That Monday they returned to KY where he had a scheduled procedure done. After this procedure he became even more ill. The doctor said that it was normal and then sent him home. He continued to go down hill and came to a point where he was not able to eat at all and was loosing a lot of weight. He even began to loos muscle mass. Eventually he was sent to Children's Hospital where he spent almost a month. At the time he was admitted he could not walk or stand on his own. When he returned home they thought that he was doing better. They soon began to see that he was still not able to use his right leg and that he was delayed in speech and response. Over the last few weeks he has continued to go down hill again. At one point they believed that he had suffered a stroke.

Fast forward to the last couple of days; It is now believed that our 10 year old nephew had undiagnosed viral minigitus. He presented with all the symptoms but no spinal tap was ever performed. He now presents with all but one symptoms of post viral minigitus complications. Translated this means that because he went undiagnosed that he has developed complications from the minigutis. Some of the complications that they have found are brain damage, loss of speech, loss of full mobility and loss of eye tracking. He is unable to make eye contact and he has lost some of the use of his leg and arm. He continues to loss strength weekly and they have not been able to determine the extent of all the damage. He went through more diagnostics testing today and next Wednesday he will see a neurologist to see how much damage has been caused to the brain. Until then we will not know if any of these things are correctable.

We serve a mighty God and our hope is in him. We know that God can preform miracles in this little boys life but it was a difficult day and we are deeply filled with sorrow. Please pray for Austin and for his family. The past 8 months has been a difficult journey and it has only begun. He is very frightened by doctors and has already been through so much. Our family is discouraged and angry and trying to process this news. Please pray for answers, for comfort, and for peace.

Life With A 3 Year Old

Easter 2009
"Doing School Work"

Yea, Army Men!
My Clean Boy
My Sleepy Boy"Look Mom! I Have Sprinkles On My Hands!" (also known as wrinkles)
Helping Dad
If you click on the picture and look closely you will see that his pants are on backwards!
Ridding On The Tractor



It has been a while since I have stopped to post. I spend most of my time keeping up with friends on Face Book now. I have needed to post so that I would have these memories preserved. I love looking back and remembering things that I tend to forget. Lately I've just been enjoying my little man. Here are a few things worth remembering.

One morning Noah asked for a pop tart for breakfast. I asked him to sit at the table and went to help him get into his chair. I had the pop tart in my hand while I was helping him. He made it very clear that his first thought was that I was going to give it to him straight out of the package as he quickly and very firmly stated "You need to iron it first!" (obviously he is used to having his pop tarts toasted)

A couple of Saturdays ago we spent the whole day working out side. Noah played and helped us with a lot of out side chores. One of the chores was to put new tires on the"new to us ridding lawn mower". After they got the new tires on the mower Noah got his first ride on the "tractor" which he really enjoyed. At some point Noah and I came inside to make lunch. I heard the mower stop but did not think much about it. Then I heard Noah scream out the back door "hey dad why you sleeping on the tractor?" This got my attention and I admit that my first thought was that maybe he had had a heart attack. Yea I know I'm such an optimist. Thankfully I heard James respond with "I'm not sleeping!" I went to the door to see James laying under the mower. Little man thought that dad had curled up under the mower to take a quick nap.

At the end of the day I brought Noah in for a bath. We cleaned his nails and the things growing behind his ears. I guess when you give little ones showers instead of baths the ears tend to be neglected. He was spic and span clean by the end. He then wrapped up in a blankie since he was cold and I made him some juice. I went outside to ask if James was ready for some dinner. It was about 7pm at that point. By the time I came in Noah was asleep on the love seat. I would have put him to bed but he had not had dinner. After I had some dinner together I woke him up so that he could eat. That is when I discovered that he had peed all over the new love seat. Thankfully it is micro suede and it cleaned up really well.

Monday evening Noah reported to dad as he walked in the door from work "Mom burnt the pamonies and then it went beep beep and we had to touch the lotter stick and the big fan made all the smoke go away and I cried!"

Any guesses as to how that really translates? Here's what he really meant to say. Since mom burnt the peperoni the smoke alarm went off. We had to go outside and meet at the seasonal water stick. After we talked about it we came inside and I showed Noah the smoke and we turned on the attic fan. I showed him that it was safe but he was still scared and started to cry. The good news is that our fire drills have paid off and when he heard the smoke alarm he knew exactly what to do. The bad news is mom can't burn lunch with out getting narked on.

This Easter Sunday marked a first in my life. I found myself telling my son the Easter story in a way I have never told it before. I reminded Noah that he would hear people talk about the Easter bunny and that the Easter bunny is pretend. I told him that Jesus is real and that even though we we can't see Jesus we know he is real. We told Noah that Easter is special to us because it was the day that Jesus got to go to Heaven. He asked if Jesus was dead and we said that some bad guys killed him and then three days later he got to go to Heaven. Of course we had to talk more about the bad guys and the Easter bunny being pretend. When I looked at Noah and said "you know the Easter bunny is pretend just like batman is pretend." Noah got this very disturbed look on his face and said "what?" Then I asked him "who else is pretend?" He responded with a huge sigh "spider man!"

I'm sure there are so many more stories. Life with Noah is always exciting. He is always getting hurt because he thinks he can fly. So far he has had to learn the hard way that he is just not equipped for such transportation. He loves to pray. He prays every day "help mommy to play with daddy." The other day he thanked God for mommy playing with daddy. I think that James is slipping the little guy extra dessert so that he will continue to pray for this. Yesterday Noah prayed that we would give him a bird and then he prayed "help mommy not be afraid of sissy." We are not sure where these things come from but we spend a lot of time snickering behind his back. Today while we were at the park he was making some bad choices. I talked to him about his behavior and explained to him how he was acting and that I did not like it. He simply responded with "your welcome."

Here are a few pictures of our Noah man. He sure is growing up fast. He even knows all of his colors; including extended colors like pink and purple. He working on his letters and he loves to sing.

Too Tired For Words

Today was filled with many emotions and a whole lot of fatigue. It was such a busy week and we did not have many opportunities for sleep. Then you add in so many different emotions and it all adds up to extreme exhaustion.

I am looking forward to catching up on our weekend with the girls but it will have to wait until I can get my thoughts together. I wanted to at least post a picture of the kids together from Friday. They are amazing girls and I can not begin to tell you how much we are missing them right now.

Houston We Have A Problem

I have many pictures to post from our exciting day but I am going to post them later. It has been a very long day and we are fixing to watch a movie so this is a quick post. (We are just waiting on the pop corn).

Okay so here is our problem; Noah freaks out when the girls leave. I mean screaming and crying when they say goodbye or leave for a short time. We are only wrapping up day two and still have two days to go. He would not let go of them so that they could hug a team member goodnight. So I think that we already have a problem and it will be worse by Sunday. I have seen him throw a fit but this is sincere. He is attached to them at the hip, leg, neck or face. What ever he can wrap his little body around.

That's all for tonight. Our movie and pop corn are ready. We'll post more latter.

PS Happy Birthday Yeshoda. We love you so much and you have blessed us in such a big way!

Our First Night With Our New Friends

We arrived at the Church at 5:30 to meet our new friends. Noah has been so excited and when we told him it was time to go pick up Rose and Yeshoda he was running and jumping and screaming "YEA!"

Rose warmed up to us right away. She was answering our questions and chattering with us about all sorts of things. It took a little while for Yeshoda to come out of her shell. Rose and Noah were buddies right away. It's kinda funny because he was excited about both girls but he would always talk about Rose. I think it is because he could say her name easily and he could remember it.

After we left the church we met our ABF class and our missionaries at a local Mexican restaurant for dinner. It was a fun night but very crazy. I do not believe that there is any way we could have tipped them enough for all the noise and craziness that they dealt with. It was a family event so you can imagine what it must have been like to have that many kids at dinner in one place. I believe that there were 30 of us. They were awesome.

The girls love to play cards. So far Kayla and I have not won a single hand against them. I told Rose that I was going to practice tomorrow while she is preforming. She said that was cheating. I reminded her that she has been playing for a long time and that I am just learning. Noah and the girls played trains when we got home. Noah was so excited to show them his trains and they actually got excited with him. It was too cute. Rose has decided to call Noah "Train". It is her little nick name for him. Did I say that Noah and Rose have hit it off really well. They are both so full of energy and feed off each other non stop. I promise that I will be one worn out mommy/auntie by the end of this weekend.

The girls call us Auntie and Uncle. They both speak good English but have very strong accents. I am having a very difficult time understanding them. I like to have never figured out hot. We played cards tonight, read stories and had lots of tickle wars. They really like to tickle and they like to see if they can keep from laughing while you tickle them. We are having a really good time and I can already tell that it is going to be hard to say goodbye. I never imagined that Naoh would be so excited to be with them. They think that it is really neat that he use to live in Guatemala and they keep asking him how he got here.

Tomorrow is Yeshoda's birthday. I asked her what she wanted for breakfast but she said it didn't matter. I think that we finally settled on pancakes. We have to have them back at the church by 11am so that they can get ready for a performance at a school. Rose asked if Noah could go with her. I reassured her that we would see them at dinner and then we could see them sing tomorrow night and Sunday. We have all day with them on Saturday as well.

I better get to bed. The girls have strict schedules so I need to get some sleep.

Noah Moments

Saturday morning James had a work event at U of A that he had to attend. Kayla was spending the night with a friend and Noah and I were getting ready to do errands in Fayetteville. I called for Noah and asked him to come put his clothes on. He did not come. I asked again still he did not come. Then I heard him say "I am trying to put up the muffin." I told him to leave it alone and come here. Again he responds "I'm trying to put the muffin away. I can't reach the muffin; it's too high!" So I am wondering what muffin he is talking about but did not take time to find out. We were supposed to be meeting up with Amber and the kids so I was trying to stay focused. After getting him dressed I heard James in the kitchen getting ready to leave and I went to say goodbye. I noticed that our mop was laying in the floor (it is usually hanging up in the pantry) and leaned over to pick it up. That is when Noah said with a very frustrated voice "Mommy I tried to put the muffin away but it was too high!" After a good chuckle we explained to Noah that it is a mop not a muffin. He is very eager to point out that he now knows the difference between a mop and a muffin.

Sunday evening I made chicken Alfredo for dinner. We were almost finished with dinner when Noah asked if he could have more chicken. I quickly glanced at his plate and saw that he had not eaten his broccoli. I told him that I would give him more chicken when he ate all of his broccoli (he had about three small pieces on his plate). So with a big sigh and a puppy dog face he said "okay" as he reached into his highchair and pulled out a hand full of cauliflower. He put the "broccoli" on his plate and began to eat it. All I could do was leave and go into the kitchen. I could not stop giggling. I guess his little conscious got the best of him. The best part was that I had no idea he was storing cauliflower in the highchair. I just wanted him to eat the broccoli on his plate.

I think that I am slowly beginning to understand this little man. I am learning ways to speak his love language (it has been much harder for me than I expected) and he in return is speaking mine. I still struggle with the amount of energy it takes to parent this bundle of energy and some days I just sit and scratch my head wondering what is going through his mind. We are having more good days (discipline wise) than bad. That really helps. He is at that fun age where he is soaking up so much but also at that age where there are thousands of questions. I am looking forward to this summer. He is a great age for so many new activities and he loves to be outside. There is so much more that I could share about our life with our little man but he is patiently waiting to get out of bed so off I go.

PS I told Noah that he could get up and before I publish this I am happy to report that the first thing I received this morning was a huge "sweet" hug. This is a big step for us. He is starting to hug us more and more. Don't get me wrong he is a very affectionate little boy. He just usually chooses his affection to be more like tackle football. This has been difficult for me. I love to play with him but every now and then a mommy just needs a sweet hug. I am starting to get more of them and they are so sweet. I still get tackled several times a day but at this point it looks like both our love tanks are getting fuel. I love my little man so much!

I AM SO EXCITED!

The little boy that reminds us of Noah. We took this picture when he was here a few years ago. It is my understanding that he is not returning this year.
Yeshoda from Nepal.
Rose from Uganda
The Central Team Choir


Almost 6 years ago our family had the opportunity to see worship at it finest. In October of Kayla's second grade year our church held it's first Global Impact Celebration "GIC". This was an amazing experience for our family and it was a huge milestone in the life of our church. Hundreds of people came forward and surrendered their hearts and lives to the mission field.

James and I were one of the many that went forward that night confirming that during the next two years we would seek God's direction concerning missions. We pledged that we would allow God to send us on the field for either a short term mission trip or full time missions. We left that evening so excited yet nervous wondering what God had in store for us.

That evening our children's choir preformed for the missionaries that had come for GIC. The children selected a country that they wanted to represent and then dressed accordingly. Kayla choose China, so the search began. We were able to find a precious outfit and even had her hair done in these braids that were wrapped in fabric and then tied up in circles. After the kids sang they were taken upstairs to play until the rest of the service was over. After the service I wanted to get a picture of Kayla with the Chinese flag. I waited and waited for James to bring her back down and began to get a little frustrated because he was taking so long. I decided to hunt him down and see what was taking so long. When I found him he said that Kayla had hurt her thumb and was upset. I asked some questions and tried to look at it while James went to get the car. It was late and she had school the next day. While I was waiting for him Kayla kept crying so I looked at her thumb again and tried to have her move it. At that point I knew we had a problem. I felt the thumb move in and out of the socket. We went directly to the ER (in full Chinese dress) where her injuries were confirmed. She had dislocated the thumb, hyper extended it and broke the growth plate. They were now calling in a surgeon. We were told to expect emergency surgery. Thankfully after the surgeon reviewed the ex rays he was able to determine that the thumb was properly set and that we could return home with a splint. We could then see him the next day at his office where they would cast it. Needless to say we returned home with only a glimpse of the mission field on our minds.

The story actually starts the night before when our plumbing burst and flooded our house. We actually returned home to carpets pulled up and huge fans drying our floors and walls. We were spending every night at the church and our days at the orthopedists and working with our insurance adjuster.

So back to the reason I started this post. The Children of the World Choir preformed at our First GIC. They also returned to preform at our last GIC a few years ago. We were so blessed by these amazing children. The second time we saw them preform we had just brought Noah home from Guatemala. One of the little boys that preformed reminded us so much of Noah. Several people in the church picked up on this. At the time Noah was the only young child that attended our church that had been adopted internationally so he was well known. While this little boy gave his testimony I just wept. It was such a privilege to experience the worship that these precious children gave so freely and it was humbling to see them through an adoptive parents eyes. God had rescued our son and had placed him into our family. He had spared him the hardships that these young children had already gone through. I thanked God so much for what he had already done in Noah's life. Since that night I have wanted to be a host family to these children. I had hoped that our church would be able to have them back and that some how we could get on the list to host them.

So....the Children of the World are returning to our church and will be preforming at our GIC in March. We had our first host family meeting and we received the names of the two girls that will be staying with us. I am so excited. One of the little girls is from Uganda and the other is form Nepal. Noah is very excited and Kayla has chosen not to attend the youth weekend so that she can be with the girls. Did I say that I am so excited! I am so giddy that one might think that we are going to keep them forever. Maybe not forever but I have no doubt that the few days we have to spend with them will be eternally rewarding. We are so privileged to have this opportunity and can't wait to meet them in person.

PS We did end up going on the mission field just not as soon as we had thought. While traveling to Guatemala was not a "mission trip " it was life changing for our family and it paved the way for us to spend 17 days in Thailand. While we were in Guatemala we were able to share what God had done in our family and we were able to reach out to our Lawyer and to Noah's foster mom. So in a way we were on the mission field.

Ice Storm 2009

Cleanup is over till spring
This entire area was piled high with limbs after the storm

I woke up to this truck picking up limbs in our front yard

Kayla and I were a little jealous that this claw picked up this pile in 30 minuets when it took so many people days to put it there.
Bon Fire any one?

The picture does not even begin to show how big this pile was. When the red truck above arrived at our house it was empty. They filled the truck and continued to smash down the pile of branches in the truck and still had to go dump before they started the next yard.
Our favorite maple tree. We will not know if it will survive until Spring. It will possibly have to come down because it does not have enough support.
The tops are gone out of these trees. They were so thick that you could not see between them. Now they are so bare and top less.
This is our favorite tree in the yard. The blooms arepurple in the spring.
Not sure what will come of this one. The picture right below is of our neighbors tree that we see out our front window. The entire top of the tree fell to the ground. The tree is aprox 60-80 feet tall (at least it use to be)







These are a few pictures taken during and after the storm. It was very difficult to capture what it was really like. I wish that I had taken video but we were not able to get out of our car unless we were in our driveway due to power lines that were down. We are planning to wait till spring and see what recovers and what still needs attention. We are still loosing limbs when the wind kicks up. We are also going to have to repair the end of our drive as we now have a lake. Even our road is starting to buckle because of all the moisture.

I am looking forward to things drying out a little bit and looking forward to the warmer days ahead.

We have a new pet.

Yes we have a new pet...pet rock that is. For some reason Noah has latched on to a rock that he found in the drive way. So far it has been banned from Church but has accompanied us to the dinner table and other such places. It sleeps in "Penny's bed." That would be his build a bear puppy's bed that he got from Aunt April at Christmas. When I asked him to leave his rock outside he said "but it is special to me!" I asked him what he was going to do with it and he said "wuv it." How can I say no at that point. I thought that it would not last past the end of the day but it is still holding a special place in his heart today. So for now as long as it behaves we have a pet rock.

Sorry to disappoint those who were looking for the cute pictures of something furry. I must say I am growing fond of this pet that does not require house training or regular feedings. We may be onto something. I guess this is what happens when "Penny" the real puppy goes home.

Clean Up begins

We are home and the clean up has begun. The guys are making huge progress. We have about 8 or 9 guys working between our house and the neighbors. You can actually see the ground again.

At some point I will post pictures. It was easier to come home today knowing that we were going to be staying and that progress could begin. The only way to move past this is to move forward so that is what we are doing. There have been a lot of tears shed and we know that there is a lot of work to do but we are are so blessed.

Please pray for safety as our community tries to clean up and get back to "normal."

Staying warm.

We made a trip back home yesterday. We needed to get more clothes and items since we will be staying with Amber longer then we thought. Obviously we are still without power and not sure when it will be back on. There is rumor that maybe Saturday by midnight.

In some ways I am ready to go home but at the same time I am overwhelmed by the site of everything. It makes us physically ill to drive down our road. A palce that use to be serene and peacefull looks like a war zone. I have been in several tornados and had not experienced such destruction until now.

I am glad we left. It was so cold in our house. By the time James and I left my nose was running and I was starting to cough. There is no way the kids could have stayed. I am so thankful that Amber opened up her home to us.

I am trying to cancel kayla's birthday party. I am disapointed that we have to keep pushing it back so far. She is very understanding though.

I will try to post more later. For now we are doing very well just have a loft of cleanup ahead of us.

We hope this finds the rest of you safe and warm.

Dropping Like Flies.

This is the first time since our little man came home that the entire family has been affected by sickness at the same time. It started when Noah threw up in his bed Thursday night. We had no idea that he had thrown up and he did not make any noise during the night. Of course I felt horrible and thought what if he did cry and I didn't hear him. I just wish I would have known so that I could have comforted him and cleaned him up. Friday he said "mommy I sorry I coughed in my bed." I explained to him that he had thrown up and that I was not upset just worried about him. He had to miss his play day at the gym so he thought he was in trouble. I tried over and over to explain to him that he was not naughty but that when you are sick you have to stay home so you do not get your friends sick.

Saturday night it hit Kayla and by Sunday afternoon mom was down. Dad is home sick with it today. The good news is only one person at a time has actually been throwing up. We have managed to space it out just right. By the time the next person gets it the previous person is past the worst part and can help hold down the fort. I am so ready for this to be over.

While I was typing my post on Hog Noses my sister called very upset. My first thought was that she was still really upset about the move. (We both cried most of the night)

Instead she was calling to tell me that their pastor's daughter was just killed in a car accident. Please pray for this family. I fell it is best to not mention any names as they have not been able to notify all the family. They do have two other children and one child has not been notified yet. Please pray for this precious family. Also please pray for my sister and her family as they are very close to them. Kayla has spent a great deal of time with their children while visiting my sister. The mother taught Kayla's age group and one of her daughters is Kayla's age. The family has always been so good to my kids while they were visiting. They made sure that they were welcome and plugged in even though they were only there for short periods of time.

There so many hurting in the world around us. Our hearts and prayers go out to those who are grieving and those who are facing medical trials. May God continue to comfort the brokenhearted and may He place His healing hand on those that need healing.

God is Bigger Than Hog Noses!

"Arkansas Survival Kit"



I know some must be thinking that some how the title to this post is sacrilegious. It is just my way of trying to acknowledge that God's ways are not my ways.

First I must explain the picture that is featured in this post. In December my sister called to inform me that there was a promising chance that their family would be transferred to Little Rock in August. It was not set in stone but it looked very promising. When they told their two boys they respond with the statement "but there are so many germs there!" Why would they say such a thing? Because every time they visit us they get sick. Really really sick! It is also a fact that when we visit them our kids end up sick, really really sick. In return we get them sick. So why the picture? Well they joked about sending us a Christmas card that said they are ready for us ( we were visiting them for Christmas) and in the card they were going to wear mask and gloves. So when we heard that they may be moving to Little Rock we decided to make them an Arkansas survival kit. The kit included hand sanitizer, mask, gloves and of course a hog nose. My sister was the only one who knew that we were doing this. It was a huge hit and we all had a big laugh. It also made for a great family photo.

We have been anxiously awaiting the big news on his new assignment. It was revealed yesterday that they will not be moving to Little Rock. The worse part is that they will be moving to Washington. What use to be a 6 hour drive for us to see them will now be a four day drive. Needless to say we are both heartbroken. They will finish their last assignment in Washington (4 years) so we will miss the boys High School years and it will be very expensive and difficult to make it for their graduations. Our little Noah will be heartbroken too when he realizes that he can not just go to Aunt April's house on a whim. He kinda got attached to her and Penny (their puppy) when they stayed with her for 17 days while we were in Thailand.

We both know that God's plan for their family is more important than the plans we made for living just 3 hours apart. We knew that it was not a done deal but we had both hoped and prayed that it might be that way. So for now I am so thankful for the past 4 years that God allowed us to live so close. We have managed with this much distance between us before and we will manage again, but I will miss having her so close.

I love you sis! I just hope our guys know that we will be trying to fit in as mush time as we can before the actual move. I still see scrap booking in our future!

So Many Emotions

~17 days on the Indian Ocean half way around the world~
~This was the view from our room!~


I am so far behind on posting that I do not even know where to begin. I always have the best intentions but you know what they so about intentions.

We had a great time with family over the holidays. We were able to see all of our family except my brother and his family. Pretty bummed that we were not able to see him. We traveled to LA to spend Christmas with my older sis, younger sis and my parents. I was able to see one of my nephews for the first time and he is 5 years old. My younger sister met Noah for the first time. It was great to spend time with all the cousins and family. James' parents and his sister drove in from Colorado a few days after we returned form LA. While they were here visiting we renovated our master bath. I'm sure that there would have been a more logical time to accomplish this but it is the only time that James has that much time off to devote to a project. Our bathroom has been in the mist of repairs since it flooded when Kayla was in the second grade. Yes she is now in 7th grade. We simply have had other things that were more in need of our time and money. If I could find my camera I would post some during and after photos.

We are back at school again. We managed to stay on track pretty well. The chores seem to suffer more when we are schooling. Noah plays well but after I spend time teaching I feel so guilty cleaning house when I should be playing with him. Either way I feel like some thing or some one is being neglected.

Tonight we had an amazing time of worship and fellowship at church. Our youth pastor and his family will be leaving in a week to serve on international soil. We are so excited for them as they begin this new journey but they will be greatly missed. Tonight when we told Noah it was time to leave he asked where we were going. We told him that we were going to church to say goodbye to his little friend B. Noah asked us were B was going and we told him he was moving. We also told him were B was moving to. He looked at us and said "That's a bummer!" The only response to that was "it's a good bummer." We are so excited for this family because we know what is in store for them but we will miss them so much. Their family has been such a blessing to our church and the youth are so sad to see them go.

Another reason that tonight is filled with so many emotions is that we had the opportunity to work along side this family in Thailand. Our hearts and minds are already stirred as we approach the one year anniversary of our trip. Many of the songs that we sang tonight were the ones that we sang on our trip. One in particular moves us to tears every time we hear the words or tune. Tonight was a sweet reminder of all our new friends that we made a year ago, yet it is a sad reminder that we may never have that opportunity again. Our experience in Thailand was probably one of the most difficult things that we have ever done physically but it was so rewarding. If asked I do believe that I would get on that plane and make the 25+ hour flight and do it all over again. I would endure the smells, the uncleanliness, very late luggage, the mold, the bacteria, the foreign foods, no diet coke, the language barrier, lack of sleep, jet lag and any of the foreign sights and customs so that we could once again work with our new friends and join them in their cause. It was an honor and a pleasure to work with them. We miss them so much and continue to remember them and lift them up.

We still wish that we were able to share so much more with each of you. For now this will have to do. I am still considering a 17 day pineapple fast in remembrance of our trip. (for those who missed a previous post that was about the only thing that I ate while I was there.)

Our hearts are stirred and will continue to be stirred. We are hopeful that we will be able to work alongside some of theses fine folks again some day but until then we are so grateful that we had this opportunity.